Have you ever thought the world of someone? Ever idolized someone? Ever loved someone with all your heart and then one day realized they aren't at all who/what you thought they were?
Ever had the feeling of love quickly turn into the feeling of hate?
Ever feel so safe with someone? Been so sure that person would never hurt you and protect you from all evil, but then turn around and hurt you more than anyone/anything ever has?
Ever felt Betrayed? Numb? Scared? Heart broken & Alone? Well this is how I feel and I hate it.
I didn't know it was possible to feel so let down by a parent, so disgusted and ashamed by someone who I have the best memmories with. How can my dad once be the trophy dad - a dad many others could have learned from but quickly - in my eyes, become the worst.
I often wonder how I will ever let a guy love me if my own father stopped. Let's be honest, my dad wouldn't have had this affair if he didn't stop loving us. I am so scared to let people love me and I am so scared to love people back. I wonder if I will ever be okay, be the happy, positive, motivated individual I once was. I never thought I would ever feel this way - especially towards my dad.
I don't know how to move on. I feel like it's so much easier pretending like I am okay but I'm not. I use to be so good at expressing myself but now I feel it's so much easier swallowing my emotions and putting a fake smile on my face. I feel like no one understands me.
Please help me fellow bloggers. I need guidance, reassurance that I will be okay and many others have once felt damaged from their parent(s) but eventually made it out alright. I'm 22 and have my whole life ahead of me but I feel like a part of me has died a little.
I am heart broken.
Thanks for listening, your support is always greatly appreciated.
Honestly, all you can do is go day by day, and take it steps at a time. Eventually you will be all right. I have had friends where their parents cheat, and they turned out fine. You may not want to talk to him or look him in the eyes, but that's normal. He shouldn't have done what he did, and you hurt that he did it. That is also normal. Like I said all you can do is take it day by day and step by step, ease into it. When your ready to talk, I'm sure he will be ready to listen. Good Luck, don't let it stop you from loving, or living. It's his mistake, not yours.